Firstly, please excuse the lack of postings for the last couple of months.  This blog, and our adventurous sex has not stopped.  I simply have been so busy.  I shall endeavor to do better, as it’s a good keepsake for me.

Over the last couple of months, I’ll admit, we’ve been losing a bit of the kink.  We are having mind-blowing sex, but some of the filthiness has disappeared.  This weekend Nexus and I talked a bit about that, and tried to figure out why this has changed.

I think one big factor is that we each had a bunch of stuff we wanted to try, and we did (almost) all of them.  The ones we haven’t done yet, such as the mfm, is because we haven’t found the right person to do it with.

I guess we reached the point where we were sated, and then just relaxed for a bit.  One thing is, we’ve been fantasizing so much about the mfm.  I don’t know why this seems to be so damn difficult.  I find myself getting frustrated with the process of trying to find someone suitable. To be honest, I end up feeling like a filthy perv, and not in the good way.  Lurking around trying to find someone to tempt into a sexual playdate with myself and Nexus.  Eek!

I digress.

Also over the last couple of months have been at least one (en)forced feminization, litres of cum shot and squirted, dirty talk (this is getting a bit easier for me), realizations that maybe I want to try being with a woman again, and some seriously quality sex. 

I’ll admit something, and hope that someone has the cojones to comment, and help me out.  See, I think like a filthy-minded pervert, and a really open-minded one at that.  Problem is, sometimes I completely panic, and won’t even entertain an idea *that I came up with* because I fear the repercussions.  For instance, I’ve been getting really frisky imagining myself and another woman, going down on Nexus.  The thought of his cock in between our mouths, and us making out around the head of his cock makes me want to cum.  Then when I really start to think about it, I panic.  I think thoughts such as: “what if she makes him cum?” or “how would I feel watching him fuck/kiss/go down on (etc) her?”  I want so badly to try these things before I get to the point in my life where those opportunities are too few and far between.  So what the fuck do I do?  Dammit.  Why do I care so fucking much if someone else makes Nexus cum? 

Anyway, I’m hoping someone will have some good advice for me.

There are also other situations like orgies that I find tempting, but again, the fears are all too prevalent.

Once again, I’ve spoken up with Nexus and our discussion about bringing the kink back in went very well.  We’re both in agreement that we miss it, and there’s no reason not to do it.

We shared an amazing time together this weekend, and spent it indoors the entire time. ..drenched in sweat, and cumming.  I’ve been really craving the resurgence of Bridget, and hope to get to see her again on Wednesday.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with Bridget, she is Nexus’ female persona.

The things I seem to be interested in lately are these:  mfm, fmf, orgies, sex with other people in the room, couple swapping (though for whatever reason that one made my chest tight as I typed it), en(forced) feminization of my Nexus, having a threesome with Nexus dressed as Bridget, and another femmed man, peeing on Nexus, more bondage for me, little/Daddy play, etc.  I guess there are a lot of things.  

One thing that stays strong is my love, and lust for Nexus.  He’s my loce.

<3 Deviant Doll

** Update:  We had a great time with femming on Wednesday.  Blog entry to cum soon.